Attention libertines, in-betweens, and voodoo queens, get your mind in the gutter, check out the Loudmouths, and you might just like what you hear. If you don't live in S.F. you've probably never heard of the Loudmouths... maybe even if you do. They don't have a record yet, but here's my hard-sell on their demo tape: "Go see a show and buy one, fucker, it's only 2 useless little dollars!" Of the Loudmouths there are four, four sneering sociopaths. Two have dicks, and two are chicks. At each of their shows to date they've lived up to their name. Dulcinea barks her lungs out, and Beth strains her throat until their vocal chords snap! Dulce: guitar and vocals; Pete: drums; Jay: guitar; Beth: bass and vocals. Interview by Rema Young.

MRR: So guys how did you guys meet each other?
Dulce: Ok, Beth, tell the story.
Beth: Dulcinea and I had known each other from the Lazy Cowgirls shows in L.A.
Dulce: And then I saw her at every fuckin' show I went to in S.F.
Beth: One day I was complaining about my old band, Cockpit. I was talking about how I wanted to be in a band that sounded like a lot of the bands we saw at those shows. The thing that was cool about you guys was that I would see you at all kinds of shows, be it Lubricated Goat, or surf and rockabilly shows. I thought, "They have good musical taste." So Dulce told me that she played a little guitar, but she really sucked, and she'd never been in a band. I expected her to be really a beginner. I went to her house and was totally blown away by how much better she was than I'd thought. I met Jay at a Blowfly show, (laughs) and I went up to his friend, because I'm the biggest loudmouth in the band, and I said, "You've got the coolest Ramones t-shirt I've seen!" But he was a complete asshole, and was like, "Fuck off". And Jay was like, "Hey, I like the Ramones." So we got to rapping then we went and danced around to Blowfly. Jay had just moved here from Minnesota.
MRR: And Pete?
Dulce: Pete was skatin' around the corner one day...
Pete: The first time Beth ever played in S.F., right?
Beth: Well, the second time, but yeah...
Pete: At the Mirmar house lots of bands started there.
Beth: The "San Mateo crowd."
Pete: I was playing at the time with this guy Kevin, just guitar and drums, we couldn't find a bass player.
Beth: For a fucking long time..
Pete: And Beth was into the Ramones, so we asked her to come hang out and play with us.
Beth: These guys were like 20-year-old dudes, and they wanted me to play, and I said yes 'cause I was drunk...
Pete: Well, how old were you?
Dulce: Like 90!!
Beth: I couldn't believe I was playing in these young guys' mother's garage in Pacifica, but they were totally cool and they rocked! But then Kevin's mother came home, and we had to quit playing one day!
MRR: So Beth was the glue.
Jay: Beth was the glue and we were the gluesniffers!!
Beth: I've never sniffed glue!
Jay: When I was a kid I loved the smell of gas, and I sniffed my model glue more than I put the models together. My mom used to get mad when she caught me sniffin' the lawn mower gas.
MRR: Do you think you might offend anyone with your music?
Dulce: If we did, I would laugh.
Pete: Maybe some stuffy people at the Purple Onion.
Beth: It's hard to be offended anymore, I personally am so fucking jaded!
MRR: What did you think was your best show ever? (They've played a handful of gigs)
Beth: Can we count a practice?
Jay: I think the Nightbreak, with Sicko and Mr. T Experience.
Beth: Dulcinea's boyfriend was a little out of hand at that show, though.
Dulce:Yeah, he knocked over all our fans!
Beth: The most offensive thing about our band is Ron (of the Brain Transplants)!
Jay: Yeah, when he calls our crowd pussies!!
Dulce: It's true.
Pete: I think I had more fun at the Chameleon.
Beth: Just because he liked the Doll Rod's drummer!
Pete: Us drummers stick together.
Dulce: I would say the Purple Onion (the first time).
MRR: The chick bartender at the Purple Onion told Dulce and I that at that show all the men in the crowd were staring at you guys all gap-jawed and lusty, so how do you feel about that?
Beth: I'm single
Dulce: This is not a dating service! (Laughs)
MRR: So are you sexy?
Beth: We're sexIST!
Dulce: What kind of question is that?
MRR: It's a good question!
Beth: I can speak for myself but... (everyone gets shy about this one...) Are we sexy...hmmmm... what's the word for it... ( more hemmin' and hawin', everyone looking at someone else for the answer...)
Dulce: Yes!! We are! Yes, yes ( Ha! I dragged it out of her !) The songs are all about sex, we sing about a lot of shit like that.
MRR: Who's the sexiest band in the whole world?
Pete: The Demolition Doll Rods!!
Dulce: The Cramps
Jay: Uh, ...The Village People!
MRR: What does emocore mean to you?
Beth: It means singers that look like they're taking a dump when they sing.
Pete: Barrettes and apple pie.
Jay: It's a branch of N.A.M.B.L.A. (at this point I had run out of questions, except one...)
Dulce: C'mon, ask us about our music!!
MRR: Okay, okay. This little jerk (oh, yeah, big jerk, cause he's bigger than me-and you know you're my pal, Tiber)...kept bugging me to ask you, "Don't you think there are enough bands that sound like the Ramones." Keep in mind that he's never heard you, and has no idea what you sound like.
Beth: I'll answer- you know fuck it, we're pretty basic 1-2-3, but you know what...
Dulce: We don't sound like the Ramones.
Beth: I'll never get tired of it.
Dulce: Definetly Ramones influenced.
Jay: Who's not Ramones influenced?
Beth: There's a lot of bands I can think of that stick to the basics- Groovie Ghoulies, Lazy Cowgirls, Screeching Weasel...
MRR: Queers, Hansons...
Pete: It's all been done, I just take the energy from it.
Dulce: Exactly, noone is gonna come see us and say we sound like the Ramones.
Beth: Just because we are the Loudmouths.
Dulce: That pisses me off!!!
Beth: No, no that's a good question, though, I quit my other band, which was much more conventional, to play the basic stuff, because that's where my heart is.
Dulce: No one can pigeon hole us, our songs don't all sound the same. (So we talked a little about their songs, and what they are about: beer-shitz, sex, Hot Wheels, roller coasters, dancin' etc. A song is just what you make of it, and the Loudmouths' songs are mostly just a lot of fun. I asked about other bands they've been in, like Beth, she's been in a lot of bands).
Beth: They were really just like college party bands. You know, I love living in San Francisco, but there's a difference between playing parties and playing clubs. At clubs, people have to pay to see you. I really miss playing parties, where people show up with their own beer, it's a more loose atmosphere.
Everyone: We want to play parties!! Call us!!
Jay: I was in a band for 5 days once, then we had to play a show. Once my band opened for MDC, then they tried hittin' on me after the show! It was 1986, I was 16 or 17.
Pete: I was in a band called Eating Goober Peas. I did a rockabilly band called the Toss Pots. I did a song once that went, "Yan can't cook, he's such a fuckin crook..." that was in the eigth grade. I'm also in another band right now called, Blank Pile.
Dulce: And I'm a virgin- Woooooo!!!
MRR: And you're a natural!
Beth: No one can believe Dulcinea has never been in a band, especially considering she wrote 90% of our songs! What were you waiting for, Dulce, us?
MRR: If you could play anywhere...
Dulce: I wanna go to Hawaii and play for a buncha Hawaiians!
Beth: I forgot to say I'm in Pineapple Princess. I wanna go to Berlin... we wanna go to Japan and play with Supersnazz!!! We should talk about all the accidents we have had -- I was in a motorcycle accident; that put the band on hold for a month and a half. Pete was skateboarding and he busted up his hand, then he had these sexy velcro fingernails.
MRR: Are you feeling better?
Pete: Yeah, I can do everything, everything except work.
Dulce: But we were Def Lepard for a while!
MRR: What are your day jobs?
Pete: I used to drive a meat truck in Chinatown.
Jay: "Slingin' Meat With Pete".
Pete: One time someone stole 2 boxes of pork butt and I had to pay for it, 'cause I left my truck unlocked. Another guy stole a box of oxtail and I had to chase him down Broadway until finally he dropped it.
MRR: Any closing remarks; thank your moms?
Dulce: What we need is to put out a single.
MRR: Start a collection.
Dulce: Can't you all lend a hand?... we only have 3 fans.
Beth: And one's your boyfriend, one's your roommate (I, the interviewer, live with Dulcinea)...
MRR: And Cory...
Beth: Kenny.
MRR: Jon Von, Starr in Hawaii... So what do we need to know about you that nobody knows?
Dulce: I am a man.
Jay: Yeah, and I have a cunt!
MRR: Name a band that you secretly love, but it's a bit embarassing.
Beth: Weezer. Tom Petty.
Jay: B.O.C., Saxon. Steely Dan.
Dulce: Pat Benatar.
Pete: Fleetwood Mac. What was your first album?
Dulce: Donny and Marie.
Beth: Shaun Cassidy.
MRR: Ike and Tina Turner's "Workin' Together."
Jay: A 45 of the Spinners, "Rubberband Man".
Dulce: Thank you, goodnight.
Everyone: Thank you, goodnight.

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